Sunday, July 31, 2016

What If They'd Been Holding Hands?

I saw a very inspirational video posted of a Muslim boy and a Jewish boy walking together as a social experiment. First they are shown walking in a Jewish neighborhood, then a Muslim neighborhood, and then a diverse neighborhood. Reactions were mainly positive, but slightly mixed. A few people took photos, hopefully to share out as a positive message.

When I first began to watch it, the boys were so close that I thought they were being portrayed as a couple; I thought they were holding hands. But it turns out they're just walking together. I love this video and videos like it, but I can't help but wonder, what if they'd been holding hands?

It's interesting the dimensions of potential hate and prejudice that can be layered onto any situation. Just the change in venue is sufficient to make a person wonder "Oh, yes, what will happen in this group?" I know that while I watched, I was anxiously waiting for negative reactions, but relieved and inspired to see the positive ones. My feelings when the person in the diverse neighborhood called out the Muslim boy were angry.

It's hard to say how many reactions might have been edited out. It's hard to say how many positive people might have reacted differently if they'd been surrounded by a more bigoted crowd. For example, if I'm in the company of a prejudiced family, will I speak out or give them a thumbs up, or be more reserve due to the people around me?

In the end, with both religions having often negative views of homosexuality, I would anticipate a more negative reaction in the religious neighborhoods, but then, I might find myself again happily surprised to see more support than I expected--which would be awesome.

I do know that if I were one of they young men in the experiment, I'd feel more apprehensive about doing this experiment as a gay couple in those neighborhoods, but I wonder if it would be justified or demonstrated to be unjustified once the feedback was in?


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Saturday, July 30, 2016

What "The Bachelor" Tells Us About Ourselves

I admit it. I watch The Bachelor (and The Bachelorette). While I’m not a reality TV connoisseur, I’m also not completely down on the concept. For those too young to remember, “Reality TV” was a product of writer’s strikes in the entertainment industry. Part of what arose out of the lack of writers was the concept of pervasive “Reality TV”--shows requiring limited scripting. So, yes, not the most honorable past--inspired by a lack of talent. But that does not mean that it must be utterly without merit.

Having studied Pop Culture and communication, I see value in this program when it comes to speaking to us and about us with regard to our popular beliefs and understanding of relationships versus the reality of human nature. I had a brief exchange with a friend who is an activist in the poly community, who supported my views on a thread about the program and the value I believe it has in the potential to add to the current cultural dialog that is trending toward a break from traditional conservative Christian models of purely monogamous, life-time, intimate/romantic relationships.

This is not a defense of the program as great art. It’s not a promotion of the show generally or a call for everyone (or anyone, for that matter) to watch it. I know people who loathe it, for reasons of their own, and that’s not surprising, as we all subscribe to our own sense of aesthetics. But does it speak to us, and about us? It does.

The premise of the program is one cishet person is put together with a few dozen cishet people of the opposite sex. There are a series of dating strategies used on the program that put these people into different situations at different times. And the goal is to be the last man or woman standing at the end, if you began the program as one of the group. It's not uncommon for the end of the show to result in a proposal, and some couples have actually married, or gone on to have tabloid relationships that ended more or less well. But despite the fact some of the program is surely staged and scripted, the people are real and the feelings are real.

Some people have told me they don't care for the program because it's too distant from real life. Oddly, the reason I like the show is because of its similarities to real life. The staging is not what most people are going to encounter in a dating reality and represents extravagant settings and opportunities that most people may experience once in a lifetime. The shows groups, however, are put into these dream date or wacky date scenarios non-stop, which heightens their emotions and leads to jealousy, drama, and fast feelings of affection for people you're sharing "once in a life-time experiences" with repeatedly within a very short time span.

So, the setting of the program creates competition and emotional experiences in a very brief span of time. This, combined with the one to 20-something ratio of the dating pool, is what makes most folks denounce the program as too unrealistic. But to me, it's simply taking what happens to a great many people in real life, and turning up the heat--making a pressure cooker situation in order to speed things up for everyone. When I watch the show, I see people behaving very much like people I have met and observed in my own life with regard to intimate/romantic relationships:

  1. Jealousy? Check.
  2. Competition? Check.
  3. Distrust? Check.
  4. Building trust? Check.
  5. Handful of dramatic personalities? Check.
  6. Insecurities? Check. Check. CHECK!
Yes, the way the situation is squeezed brings out these issues quickly and intensely, but they aren't actually reactions that are extraordinary when it comes to human romantic or sexual relationships.

In the end the thing that strikes me most is how surprised the bachelors/bachelorettes are toward the end of the program when they express confusion and distress about the fact they have feelings for more than one contestant--sometimes two or three--with whom they can envision a clear future. The surprise they express seems to bring to light their expectation of the experience versus the reality. They appear to expect that during this process one clear contender will easily emerge and this will be "The One" with whom they will spend the rest of their lives. They seem to believe this will be the case for them, despite having seen every other bachelor and bachelorette experience the disillusionment of this same expectation on nearly every episode to date. When they are confronted with a reality that demonstrates they are, in fact, capable of loving more than one person at one time in highly passionate ways, they simply are not equipped to deal with this fact, and it results in confusion.

This confusion is compounded by the anxiety they experience in a situation where they know the clock is ticking and they are required to choose one or none of the contestants by the end of the show. To me, this is simply a short form of the normal social experience, but with more abundant competition and a lot less time. We are taught and expected to love one person at a time, and to ultimately seek out the one person with whom we will spend the rest of our lives. And we place a great deal of pressure upon ourselves, combined with pressure from families, friends, and society generally, to make sure this outcome occurs.

In some surveys, three-fourths of men and nearly as many women say they would have lovers in addition to their spouses if they could. Bear in mind that when self-reporting negatively viewed behaviors, some folks lie to save face even when they are reporting anonymously. But even accepting this figure at face value, it speaks to a similar divide in society that we see on The Bachelor: People expect monogamous unions, but experience something very different as human beings.

Imagine that we surveyed the Bachelors and Bachelorettes before they began the show. I would expect unanimous agreement that they view themselves as monogamous people, based on what they express at the outset and throughout the season until the final few episodes, when their experience diverges. By the end of the program we have clear expressions of their capacity for nonmonogamy. And as most of the main contestants are unsuccessful suitors from past seasons, we see again and again, as well, that they are baffled at the idea the person they were previously vying for could possibly have expressed love or strong feelings for them, but ultimately selected another contestant. That is, the same people who say on the prior seasons they don't understand how they could have honestly been loved since the Bachelor/Bachelorette selected another contestant, will then go on to find themselves in the same predicament the next season after they are selected as the Bachelor/Bachelorette. Not only can they not imagine loving more than one person, they can't understand how anyone else could possibly do so. Then they find, when it's their turn, and they're near the end of the season, they are deeply in love with multiple people.

It makes me wonder how many people self-report or identify as "monogamous," who, in fact are capable of loving multiple people at once, but who have simply never been in a situation to discover this, because society places glass restrictions on such goals or behaviors, marginalizing people who fail to subscribe to the one-size-fits-all model of a life-time monogamous goal. In other words: How many nonmonogamous people are running around in society thinking there is no way they could possibly be nonmonogamous? I only wish there were a way everyone could be put through The Bachelor/Bachelorette experience in order to honestly find out. But we can see from the impact on the players that self-reporting in this area isn't trustworthy.

The show also raises the question of jealousy as a byproduct of competition. That is, people on the show experience jealousy when they consider or see the main player with other contenders. But how would this change if we lived in a society where the object of our affection didn't have to choose between us and someone else? What if we, as a society, actually came to grips with the fact that more of us than we're comfortable believing, honestly can love more than one person, and we did not feel threat of loss at the idea of our partners having intimate, romantic relationships with other people? What role would jealousy then serve, once we stopped viewing human beings as property with an owner, rather than a human being who can have more than one relationship at a time?

I once suggested to someone that I don't get jealous when my friends spend time with other friends. I don't think it means they prefer them to me. I don't think it means our friendship is in jeopardy. And I don't become insecure. I don't think the fact they enjoy the company of others indicates any sort of diminished enjoyment of my company. Somehow, as a society, we accept this with our friends (and would raise an eyebrow if someone were jealous in this situation), but not our lovers. I'd suggest this may be a matter of simply not having awareness or opportunity to experience our own capacity to actually love multiple people at once. And I'd love to be able to test this idea.


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Sunday, July 24, 2016

Why Corsets?

Before I began wearing corsets, they were a complete mystery to me. Sturdy, pragmatic undergarments of antiquity, now romanticized as intimate apparel. I couldn't understand how a person could put one on by themselves. And yet, people did.

When I asked at lingerie shops, they actually didn't always know the answer. The first shop I asked, the salesperson said she didn't know, but that she had one client, an older cowgirl, who loved them and could lace them up herself. The next shop I asked at, I was actually buying my first one, a Frederick's Dream Corset in white. It was acrylic boned and purely for looks, not functionality. And the sales clerk cautioned me never to untie it once we had it where it was good. This was actually not correct advice. It's fine to untie the corset and to loosen/tighten with every re-use.

Slowly I began to learn more about them. There are countless styles with countless uses. People who use them for body shaping, sexy time, regular day wear, formal wear, you name it. I learned words like "modesty panel" and the difference between steel (flat or spiral?) and acrylic boning.

Because volumes could be written and years spent blogging about the various aspects of corsets, I'm going to devote this post to those interested in starting out with corsets for sexy time appeal. Be warned, though, once you start, it's easy to get hooked, and a person could easily go through hundreds of dollars just to start a beginner's collection with a handful of colors and styles. At this point I've purchased about a dozen true corsets. This is not counting "Merry Widows" or corselets that I own. A corselet is usually made of lighter material, and can be flexible. It may or may not lace up in the back, but usually it will have one closure which will use a hook-and-eye style line of fasteners. Here are two of my Merry Widows. One laces in back (the teal one that's closed), the other uses hook-and-eye style fasteners (the white and blue one that's open). If I were to place a hand under the fabric of either of these pieces, you would still be able to see my hand--they are thin lace, comfortable, and easy to flex and move around in.

Corsets, on the other hand, are made of thick, sturdy material, that may seem more like heavy curtain or upholstery fabric. They aren't generally see-through, and they're intentionally thick to hold the "boning" and your shape under more stress than normal lingerie. Boning consists of thin strips of acrylic or steel that give the corset it's shape. It's the same shape you'll have once you put it on and lace it up. Above, you can see boning in the Merry Widow in white, running from top to bottom. However, boning in an actual corset is much sturdier.

Pictured here are two corsets laid flat and upright. The open ends would wrap around the front and be fastened. Note that they actually tie in the middle back. This is how they minimize the waist. Lacing a corset is very specific. It's laced from top to bottom, however there is a special type of lacing you use for just the loops that cover the narrowest part of your waist area. You don't criss-cross those like normal lacing. You create loops with them. Later, after the laces are tied at the bottom, you go back and pull the looped laces in order to get slack enough to tie the laces in the center.

Note above how the knot is in the middle of the corset. The two shown above were purchased as fashion corsets. That is, they usually come with acrylic, rather than steel bones, and they rarely come with a modesty panel. The top corset in this image has a modesty panel, the lower corset does not. A modesty panel is a panel of material that covers the center of the back of the corset, under the corset halves, so that you don't have a gap in the material visually. See how the laces in the blue sample have no material behind them. When you wear it--since a corset should have 2 inches of space between the two halves once closed and secured--this panel covers the gap in the back so that you don't show bare skin. Depending on your preferences, you may or may not want the panel. If you plan to wear the corset as part of an outfit outside the bedroom, the panel is recommended for a more finished and refined look.

Usually a corset with a modesty panel also features steel boning, which is preferable to acrylic, but also generally more costly. And corsets with panels and steel boning are more likely to come with actual corset lacing, and not ribbon lacing. Ribbon lacing will not last. And you have the option to buy corset lacing--which you may have to order online--or, you can go out and find a shop that sells long (72-inch) boot laces. The boot lacing is a work-around if you don't mind breaking with corset protocol and just want something better than ribbon holding your piece together. You would start one pair of laces at the top, and one at the bottom so that the open ends meet in the middle (instead of the special loop lacing) where you'd then pull them all together to form the tie/knot at the waist loops. So, begin lacing from the bottom up to the middle, and from the top down to the middle. I will likely do another post at some point to demonstrate, because most fashion corsets come with ribbon, which simply isn't going to last. And if you're just looking for something that looks hot in the bedroom, this makeshift fix will do the trick.

I personally have learned to love them. Putting them on by myself is a challenge, I won't lie. I usually loosen the lacing and fasten the front and then redo the lacing, but it can still be a chore. What I find works best for me is to bring my sexy wear to my date night and get dressed in front of my partner. It can be very erotic to be pulling up stockings, and putting on heels and a choker for him. My movements are often exaggerated to accentuate aspects he finds most attractive. Then when I get to the corset, I put it on loosely, and he tightens the laces for me, usually as tight as he can get it.

Visually, the results are amazing, and for people who do waist training, even dramatic. In fact, there is some debate about potential health risks of extreme training. But if you're just using a corset for sexy time, it's good to still be cautious, because you can actually tighten it to the point you have difficulty breathing. Additionally be prepared for your movements to be restricted. I learned almost immediately that driving a car in a corset requires some skill. And simple maneuvers in bed are suddenly unavailable. I've found I often need to communicate with my partner to help adjust my position sometimes. But I think it adds to the fun and intimacy if the dynamic is good. And a final warning about lacing tightly: You can actually ruin the shape of the piece if you go too tight and bend the boning. I don't wear mine for very long or very frequently, but the more you wear it and the longer you wear it, the more you want to avoid potentially damaging your piece.

In the end, if you think you might like to try a corset, a good vendor I've used is Corset Story online. They have a sale page that lets you select the lowest pricing. I've actually purchased from them for as little as $8 when they're clearing out their stock. But that's becoming more rare these days. Still, their pricing isn't bad. And their size chart is actually pretty reliable as well--which is a huge concern of mine. I do support one of my city's local lingerie shops, but there's no way I could afford to purchase a dozen corsets from a local boutique. Pricing online simply makes them more affordable. Once you find your size at Corset Story, the upshot is that you can always use that size to order later as well, because their sizing is standard. You can buy all your corsets at different online storefronts, but they will all size a bit differently, and not necessarily consistently even at the same shop. At Corset Story I run between their size 6 and 8. But those same corsets from other vendors will be listed using another seller's sizing. I'm sure Corset Story isn't the only outlet to offer this advantage, they just happen to be a shop I have had good experiences with and feel comfortable recommending. I can't be sure I'm ordering the same size elsewhere, even for the same corset. For me, this is an important issue, because I don't like exchanging online purchases. I have done it, and have had good results from vendors generally, but I still prefer to know when I buy a size 6, what that means.

21-Aug-2016 - Update note about Corset Story: Since writing this post I have seen some die hard corset fans denouncing the quality of the CS corsets. I defer to their more experienced opinions. Since I do not wear corsets as regular wear or engage in waist training, I cannot recommend anything for those purposes. I wear them purely for sexy time, and for that these are just fine. But if the reactions online are to be heeded, CS corsets may not suit your needs if you're looking for something more than that. I can't say and don't presume to know.

You'll also want to look into cleaning, care and storage of your corsets. But again, that's another set of blog posts. My advice? Don't get it dirty!

So, why would I go to all this trouble for a piece of lingerie? Why do I love my corsets so much? Because they give me a perfect figure every time. Here are a few pics of me in my corsets. Compare to the pic of me used in the wax play post, and you'll see what I mean.

- MK

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Friday, July 22, 2016

Simple Tips for Hot Wax Play

While I don't necessarily agree with the statement, "you can never be too careful,"when it comes to doing sexy-time safely, the more people who disseminate information on basic precautions, the better. None of this information is proprietary, and it can be found in other sites and blogs in various forms. I'm not the wax play guru, but the more good information is compiled and shared out publicly, the safer everyone will be while they have fun.

Wax play can be a messy activity. I recommend clearing space and laying out a tarp or plastic sheeting. You can actually use regular candles purchased in most stores, but there are also specialty candles for wax play available. A few links are provided at the end of this post.

If you are the partner acting as the human canvas, don't wear anything you don't want to get wax on. Wax play is intuitive, not exact. And much of the fun is the way the wax adds a dimension of unpredictability about how it falls and flows. This is not to say you should go into this with the idea you'll be flinging hot wax around, but no matter how careful you are, it's fluid wax, not a t-square.

If you should get wax on carpet, a handy trick is to take a bath hand towel you don't care about, and lay it over the spill. Then take a warm iron and run it back and forth over the towel. The wax will soak into the towel and come out of the carpet.

If you get it on finished surfaces or in clothing or body hair--hit Google. I have no tips here for that. If you're the canvas--leave your fancy lingerie in a drawer for this one. You don't want to wear anything you wouldn't want potentially ruined.

In order to melt and be poured, wax has to be heated. One tip that I have found works well, is to pour from a distance. Stand over your canvas and let the wax flow down. This gives the wax time to cool just a few degrees as it falls. It actually makes a difference for me, and takes the edge off a bit. Additionally it helps avoid problems with potentially causing too much of a burn. However, you and your partner can play with different candle types and different pouring methods, and ultimately come up with what works best for you. But for beginners, this is a good tip to avoid going too far too fast.

Things to remember about candles: Melting points for candles is not the same. It can be affected by what they're made of, and what other ingredients (colors and scents) are added. Some popular candles increase in melting points from soy to paraffin to beeswax. the added colors and scents often bring up the melting point as well, so be careful when using candles off-the-shelf. Test them judiciously before going whole hog. Try a few drips before unleashing a pour. Paraffin is the most common variety and the ones most likely to be found in stores as pillar or taper candles for decorative or home scent use.

If you're heating up the candle on a burner or above another flame, this can increase the temperature beyond what you'd get by simply burning the candle normally. If you're just beginning you may want to start with normal candle use and work your way up to a burner if you think that's going to be your preference. Know that the longer you keep it on a burner, the hotter it can become.

Something else to keep in mind is that different people have different tolerances for heat and pain. And we all know that particular areas of our own bodies are more and less sensitive to stimulation. Use common sense and caution while you get to know your canvas. Also, be sure to ask if they have any allergies or sensitivities before applying anything to another person's skin. I have a friend who is allergic to lavender, for example. Something like that would be crucial to know before buying candles for play.

When it comes to basic safety, avoid pouring or dripping near eyes or open orifices. Also, for more efficient clean up, apply lotion or oil to the skin before your session. I've found most of it will flake off pretty easily once it's dry and I start moving around. But the lotion tip sounds like something I might try in the future. I'm wondering if oil would interfere with the wax adhesion too much. Definitely something I can experiment with a little and report back.

Remember: Candles are on fire! This means basic candle safety and fire safety should be observed in wax play just as in any other time you're using candles. Give yourself a few minutes to consider this when you do your set up if you are the artist in this scene:

  • Never keep a lit candle near fabrics, curtains, clothing, sitting on an upholstered surface; basically, keep a flame away from things that catch fire easily. Do not trust that it won't be knocked over. In fact, assume it will be. It probably won't, but if you're planned for a spill and it doesn't happen, bully for you! If you haven't planned for it, and it does, it could be inconvenient or even disastrous.
  • Keep candles on a sturdy table or surface, not something that wobbles. It wouldn't hurt to use a nonflammable tray or plate under them as well. If your candle table/surface has a finish you care about, consider protecting it.
  • Additionally, just having a glass of water close at hand might be sufficient for small spills or breaks.
  • And finally: Don't keep lit candles where children or animals can get near them.

Once you've taken a few common sense steps to avoid catastrophe, experiment, be creative, become bold, and have fun with your partner. Play with colors and scents and patterns and layers. It's amazing what you can create.

HotRod and I started slow. In fact, our first foray into wax play together included one red candle. At the end of the session HotRod said the photos looked like he'd murdered me. Just some stray lines here and there. Nothing fancy. Then we moved toward more color and layers. And I hope we'll keep using wax play to create new "masterpieces" in the future.

I had to overcome a few trust issues. The perspective when you're under the candle is very different than the perspective when you're holding it over someone. A few times I would have sworn the wax would drip right into my face, but it was aimed at my neck and chest. 

That being said, a few missteps are unavoidable, and a few times the pours were a lot heavier than HotRod intended. It was intense, but nothing harmful. Just momentary and unexpected sensations that dissipated quickly. But I do have more trust now, and it feels good to let him play and make his art.

Safety sites and other resources:
Candles made specifically for wax play can be purchased online:

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Thursday, July 21, 2016

Review: G-spot Vibrator

The basic G-spot vibrator is a stick that features a small egg on the end set at an angle to the main shaft. If you've never used one, or aren't familiar with G-spots, the angle of the egg may seem strange. This is not a dildo. It’s a vibrator with a specific purpose in mind: Stimulating the G-spot.

For some, the G-spot is a thing of myth and legend. For others, it’s very real. It should be located a few inches inside the vagina, at the front of the vaginal wall. I was personally never very aware of my own sensitivity in that area, until I met this handy gadget. Never say "never," but unlike some, the sensation I get from stimulating this area isn't orgasmic, so much as intensely pleasurable. It's more robust, but within the category of things that feel good sexually to me, but aren't necessarily ever going to lead to an orgasm--like rim stimulation.

Some folks say they have no such spot. Whether they don't, or they just haven't found it or stimulated it correctly, who knows? Bodies are all different, so it's conceivable to me that not everyone is going to have the same sensitivity in the same regions as everyone else. I certainly would have asserted it was outside my range prior to trying this toy. It's like hearing someone say they've never orgasmed. Is it that they can't? Or is it that they haven't figured out what gets them there, yet? I'm sure there are some of both in this world. They may go to their graves with the question unanswered. And in the end, regardless of which category they fall into--the result is the same.

So, what does this toy do, exactly? Well, the intended use is to insert it into the vagina with the egg facing to the front of the body, so that it hits that area of the suspected G-spot. Then it's up to you or your partner to figure out how to maneuver it to your satisfaction. Fast or slow, small circles or up and down, side to side--anything you want to try, try it. And you don't have to only aim it at your G-spot. You can turn it, put it farther up, use it externally on the clit or anus, or buy a size that suits you and put it up your ass. While I'm comfortable with anal, the shape of this, after having experienced it vaginally, isn't really something I imagine I'd be into as an anal toy. I think the angle, for me, would be a little uncomfortable, and I'd probably prefer a variety with a little more curve, or no curve at all, and a little less angle.

There are smaller, similar versions of this intended to stimulate the prostrate in men if that's your thing. Anal entry is preferred for these, because of the location of the prostate. In fact prostate vibrators are often synonymous with anal vibrators.

They come in different textures and can also come with a variety of features. This one is very basic, and provides two vibration speeds, low and high. Low gives a sensation more like a massage tool. High is closer to my kitchen appliances. I personally prefer the lower speed and the slow build up. The high is a bit intense for me. But I'm sure there are people who prefer or even require, that extra intensity. So, at least they have options. I'm not saying I'm never interested in the higher speed, just that I lean toward the low most often.

This particular toy has served fairly well as a basic tool for nearly a year, so I can't complain about the craftsmanship, but will note the maker is not identified on the product, so I'm not sure how to recommend it. I can only say it's a very generic type of G-spot vibrator, and I'm sure there are many similar products out there if you're interested in giving something like this a try.

For me, personally, when it comes to clitoral stimulation, the high speed can be a bit too much--almost distracting. Low is better. But in all honesty, I prefer HotRod's manual or oral stimulation to the tool. Maybe it's that the uniform vibration makes it a little too predictable, even while it's being manipulated to some degree by the user? I'm not sure.

I will say that I owe a "first" to this little thing. I used it on myself during sex with HotRod to achieve my first ever orgasm during vaginal sex. I've tried for that for years, and on a few occasions come very close. But it's always eluded me, because I find the sexual activity distracting, and it interferes with my focus on coming to orgasm. With this tool I've come during sex exactly once so far. But at least now I know I can do it, and hope to have that experience many more times in the future.

But that's my take as the female user on the business end of this tool.


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Review: Jewel Steel Anal Plug - Size Small

So, this little "gem" is designed to be inserted into your or your partner's anus for anal stimulation during sex. This variety generally comes in a variety of sizes based on the user's preferences and comfort level.

Although I probably would have gone intermediate to start, HotRod had purchased a beginner's version. Having tried it, I still believe that, for me, a larger size would be more appropriate--but no need to get too crazy.

As far as the look of the plug. I like it. I think it's cute. The one shown here is clear/white, but the product also comes in a large array of colors that, again, cater to personal preference. I think that in addition to being an attractive adornment for the partner who may be positioned to observe an ass during the session, the product also can serve to make some people feel more comfortable about their ass being displayed if they have any sorts of abnormalities that result in self-consciousness with regard to body image. So, for example, a partner with an anal tab might feel uncomfortable with their ass on display like this, and a product like this plug would help them to relax and not feel like someone is potentially focusing on what they consider an imperfection.

My experience with the product was interesting. Again, due to the size being smaller than what I'd consider a perfect fit, it tended to move around a lot. HotRod has a good girth to his cock, so as he pumped, I could feel it moving in and out--being displaced each time he thrusted. At one point, HotRod actually noted this visually to me--saying the plug was moving in and out as he watched. Positioning of the cock during sex, as well, seems to impact the extent to which this occurs.

As far as how it felt, once in, the area around the rim was mostly stimulated with me. And as it moved in and out, it was, again, the rim that got most of the excitement. This was fine with me and very enjoyable. I still would like to go one larger and see if that impacts the experience as well. And there are some that have a more textured neck to them, and even dials and handles, which allow the dominant partner to exercise some control over application of extra stimulation. I'd like to try out a few of those as well at some point.

In the end, I'd use it again. Not something I'd need all the time, but definitely a good addition to the toy chest.


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Sunday, July 17, 2016

BBB Party on the Lake

So, HotRod gave me a call and off we went.

The weather was scorching, with a few merciful clouds scattered across the sky. And we weren't at BBB XI party barge float by, heading further into the park, a few coves down. We picked up our naked selves, along with our bags, coolers, backpacks, and noodles, and off we went again.

This time we settled in with the rest of the party goers at the park as those on the barge unloaded into the water. Sunscreen applied, noodles taped together, and in we went, too. The water was refreshing and soon we were floating around in a sea of naked and half naked people on floats of all kinds.

After not too long, boats began to arrive as well, blocking the cove entrance until it was barricaded off from the rest of the lake outside. We bobbed around on our noodles, meeting people and admiring the floats and boats. Mainly things were very subdued, with nobody getting too rowdy.

Every now and then we saw the occasional mutual masturbation or oral sex encounter. Most folks were keeping friendly, but maybe a bit less friendly than that.

This was most of our day. Floating with naked people. Getting out and back onto the rocks for snacks and drinks. Then more floating with naked people. Then back onto the rocks to add sunscreen and have more food and drinks.

Overall it was a fun time. I'd do it again. They had an after party at a hotel downtown, but we were both bushwhacked and decided to call it a day. HotRod headed home, and so did I. Walked in the door. put my things away. Washed the beach towels. Took a shower. Tossed the towels in the dryer. Decided to lie down for a nap about 6:30, and woke up this morning as usual. Guess I needed the sleep!

Feel free to check Tumblr for a handful of candid shots of HotRod at the event.


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