Friday, July 22, 2016

Simple Tips for Hot Wax Play

While I don't necessarily agree with the statement, "you can never be too careful,"when it comes to doing sexy-time safely, the more people who disseminate information on basic precautions, the better. None of this information is proprietary, and it can be found in other sites and blogs in various forms. I'm not the wax play guru, but the more good information is compiled and shared out publicly, the safer everyone will be while they have fun.

Wax play can be a messy activity. I recommend clearing space and laying out a tarp or plastic sheeting. You can actually use regular candles purchased in most stores, but there are also specialty candles for wax play available. A few links are provided at the end of this post.

If you are the partner acting as the human canvas, don't wear anything you don't want to get wax on. Wax play is intuitive, not exact. And much of the fun is the way the wax adds a dimension of unpredictability about how it falls and flows. This is not to say you should go into this with the idea you'll be flinging hot wax around, but no matter how careful you are, it's fluid wax, not a t-square.

If you should get wax on carpet, a handy trick is to take a bath hand towel you don't care about, and lay it over the spill. Then take a warm iron and run it back and forth over the towel. The wax will soak into the towel and come out of the carpet.

If you get it on finished surfaces or in clothing or body hair--hit Google. I have no tips here for that. If you're the canvas--leave your fancy lingerie in a drawer for this one. You don't want to wear anything you wouldn't want potentially ruined.

In order to melt and be poured, wax has to be heated. One tip that I have found works well, is to pour from a distance. Stand over your canvas and let the wax flow down. This gives the wax time to cool just a few degrees as it falls. It actually makes a difference for me, and takes the edge off a bit. Additionally it helps avoid problems with potentially causing too much of a burn. However, you and your partner can play with different candle types and different pouring methods, and ultimately come up with what works best for you. But for beginners, this is a good tip to avoid going too far too fast.

Things to remember about candles: Melting points for candles is not the same. It can be affected by what they're made of, and what other ingredients (colors and scents) are added. Some popular candles increase in melting points from soy to paraffin to beeswax. the added colors and scents often bring up the melting point as well, so be careful when using candles off-the-shelf. Test them judiciously before going whole hog. Try a few drips before unleashing a pour. Paraffin is the most common variety and the ones most likely to be found in stores as pillar or taper candles for decorative or home scent use.

If you're heating up the candle on a burner or above another flame, this can increase the temperature beyond what you'd get by simply burning the candle normally. If you're just beginning you may want to start with normal candle use and work your way up to a burner if you think that's going to be your preference. Know that the longer you keep it on a burner, the hotter it can become.

Something else to keep in mind is that different people have different tolerances for heat and pain. And we all know that particular areas of our own bodies are more and less sensitive to stimulation. Use common sense and caution while you get to know your canvas. Also, be sure to ask if they have any allergies or sensitivities before applying anything to another person's skin. I have a friend who is allergic to lavender, for example. Something like that would be crucial to know before buying candles for play.

When it comes to basic safety, avoid pouring or dripping near eyes or open orifices. Also, for more efficient clean up, apply lotion or oil to the skin before your session. I've found most of it will flake off pretty easily once it's dry and I start moving around. But the lotion tip sounds like something I might try in the future. I'm wondering if oil would interfere with the wax adhesion too much. Definitely something I can experiment with a little and report back.

Remember: Candles are on fire! This means basic candle safety and fire safety should be observed in wax play just as in any other time you're using candles. Give yourself a few minutes to consider this when you do your set up if you are the artist in this scene:

  • Never keep a lit candle near fabrics, curtains, clothing, sitting on an upholstered surface; basically, keep a flame away from things that catch fire easily. Do not trust that it won't be knocked over. In fact, assume it will be. It probably won't, but if you're planned for a spill and it doesn't happen, bully for you! If you haven't planned for it, and it does, it could be inconvenient or even disastrous.
  • Keep candles on a sturdy table or surface, not something that wobbles. It wouldn't hurt to use a nonflammable tray or plate under them as well. If your candle table/surface has a finish you care about, consider protecting it.
  • Additionally, just having a glass of water close at hand might be sufficient for small spills or breaks.
  • And finally: Don't keep lit candles where children or animals can get near them.

Once you've taken a few common sense steps to avoid catastrophe, experiment, be creative, become bold, and have fun with your partner. Play with colors and scents and patterns and layers. It's amazing what you can create.

HotRod and I started slow. In fact, our first foray into wax play together included one red candle. At the end of the session HotRod said the photos looked like he'd murdered me. Just some stray lines here and there. Nothing fancy. Then we moved toward more color and layers. And I hope we'll keep using wax play to create new "masterpieces" in the future.

I had to overcome a few trust issues. The perspective when you're under the candle is very different than the perspective when you're holding it over someone. A few times I would have sworn the wax would drip right into my face, but it was aimed at my neck and chest. 


That being said, a few missteps are unavoidable, and a few times the pours were a lot heavier than HotRod intended. It was intense, but nothing harmful. Just momentary and unexpected sensations that dissipated quickly. But I do have more trust now, and it feels good to let him play and make his art.

Safety sites and other resources:
Candles made specifically for wax play can be purchased online:
-MK

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